During family scriptures a few weeks ago, we came across this Book of Mormon verse:
"But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." 1 Nephi 1:20
In preceding verses, Nephi had explained his father's revelations regarding Jerusalem and how Lehi had tried to warn the inhabitants of said city. They mocked Lehi and his prophecies, became angry, cast him out, and eventually "sought his life, that they might take it away." Then comes the above verse about tender mercies. If you know the story, you know what comes next. The Lord commands Lehi to take his family and depart into the wilderness. Some tender mercy that is, right, having to leave all your friends and belongings and head to the desert? And yet, eventually that decision to depart Jerusalem yielded fruitful blessings: the plates/scriptures, wives and families for Lehi's children, learning to trust the Lord in all things (from finding food with broken bows to building ships to escaping your own brothers' captivity), and eventual arrival in the promised land. Tender mercies indeed.
I've been trying to pay attention to the tender mercies in my own life lately, even the slightly-disguised, not-so-desirable ones like being asked to leave Jerusalem, and I have come to realize some things. First, it's no joke when it says "because of their faith." Without our trusting and believing Him, how can He deliver us? My most faithless moments over the past few weeks have been by far my worst, the ones where I feel like the world is against me and I will never escape my past mistakes and/or current weaknesses. In contrast, the moments where I have chosen to hope and believe, chosen to obey despite my "natural man" feelings have brought peace, answers, and of course deliverance from that self-pitying misery.
Another thing I've learned is that the adversary would have us believe we can't change. He wants us to feel rooted in our insecurities for as long as they'll keep us down, for as long as they'll cripple us from thinking outside ourselves, for as long as they'll cause us to forget the transforming power of the Atonement. And boy, is he ever good at his job. Talk about convincing, talk about manipulating, talk about smooth. He knows right where to dig in with my emotional Achilles' heels and how to get me believing there is no chance for improvement.
Third, deliverance always comes. Sometimes we have to be patient. Sometimes we have to pay closer attention. Sometimes we have to grow a little before we can be delivered. That doesn't make it any less than someone else's immediate deliverance.
I felt especially delivered yesterday after struggling early in the morning with some feelings that have persisted for several months now, feelings very akin to the faithless ones I described above. Engulfed would be an apt word to describe the way those emotions seemed to pull me right under. We had planned to go to the temple, which was of course the last place I wanted to be while feeling that way. I sulked and stewed the entire drive up to Oakland, but then came an unforeseen deliverance while doing initiatories. To my complete amazement, the biggest worries and fears I'd been dwelling on were dispelled as either false or unimportant and not worth my energy. The answers to those silent prayers of my heart could not have been more pointed, and my gratitude for a loving Heavenly Father and His awareness of my needs could not have been stronger. Tears streamed as those loving temple workers patted my back and gave me tissues and loved/served me despite not knowing me. It was the tenderest of tender mercies, one I hope I never forget, and one that brought mighty power to my own testimony.
