7/30/09
Skippable (did i just make a word up?) side note
I think I was scared to think of it, scared to imagine just how overwhelming my life could be, scared to realize that I would have to change and grow and adapt just like my kiddos are having to do. It's hard to stop thinking like a two toddler mother who realistically expects to run three errands in one morning and still get the kids home for naps by one, when in fact I'm the mother of two toddlers and a baby, a baby who needs to be fed--by me--and changed and held much more often than my old morning agenda allowed.
Being a parent has to be THE most humbling job in the world. My weaknesses seemed so manageable before I had kids, so conquerable, so easily hidden from others. Now they feel quite the opposite. Visible, indefatigable, and stubbornly-persistent. If I'm in a bad mood, there's no avoiding it and not only for me but for the whole family. It's the lovely domino effect that only a mother has the power of setting in motion, and it's awful to watch that bad mood work its way down the family food chain. Those poor stuffed animals get yelled at and put on time out way too often. . .
1 comment:
I needed to read this today. By 11 am my girls had gotten into the Oatmeal and had spread it all over the carpet over toys. Had colored all over themselves and things, and hand emptied the pantry. All while I was cleaning close by, but was happily thinking they were playing together so nicely. I want to scream so badly and yet, I know how that would only harm and start the awful domino affect that I start so many other times. Motherhood is a test ... a test of patience, of pure love, of humility and faith in a higher power. Thank you for sharing this ... I know it was written a long time ago ... but I needed to know today, I'm not alone!
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