So when do you stop an April Fool's tradition?

The answer:  When life starts playing its own cruel April Fool's joke on you!





Many of you are familiar with my annual April Fool's blog entries.  They have elicited some great responses like when I posted a fake ultrasound of twins and my Mother in Law Paula just read the intro and called my wife with a flurry of excitement.  Keep in mind that my wife had no idea I was going to post it, so it took a while for both to connect the dots.  Ohhh...good times :). 

Or when I posted that I accepted a new job as the Director of Stanford's international Bing Overseas Studies Program in Spain.  My manager Charles was furious, because of course, he just read the intro and did not read all the way down to see the glorious April Fool's line.  I have never seen him so red!  He really thought I was leaving without telling him.  Good thing he was a good sport about that one--could have been career limiting.

But this year, I really needed to take a break from tradition.  Why?  Because life was playing its own cruel April Fool's joke on me.  Here goes:

For many years I promised Julianne that we would leave the country for our big 10 year anniversary.  And for about a year we hemmed and hawed over where to go:  Fiji, St. Maarten, Mexico, New Zealand or Costa Rica.  We did research, we asked friends for advice, we scoured the internet for the best deal and then finally we found one--a great 9 day vacation package in Costa Rica that would allow us to see the capital San Jose, visit the Arenal Volcano, the Monteverde Cloud Forest and hang out with the surfers at Tamarindo Beach. 

The problem--our passports were both expired and we kept delaying the inevitably important process of renewing them.  As some of you know our anniversary isn't until June, but we couldn't pass up this deal in April along with the opportunity for my sister Kristi to help watch our kids while her school was out on Spring Break. 

So off we go to drop in at our local post office in Sunnyvale only to find out that we need to make an appointment.  The following week we finally get an appointment date for Feb 15th.  We thought all was well since at most it would take 6 weeks to process according to the official government website.  We go in and find out we completed the forms in blue instead of black ink and had to complete the forms a 2nd time.  Then the passport agent takes a look at our drivers licenses and notices that mine was expired by a few months (which is weird because I had changed addresses about 5 years ago when we last moved and thought it was unusual that I never got a reminder notice from the DMV).  The agent told me it was okay, so we went ahead with the cheaper 4-6 week processing time.  I then went into panic mode to get my license renewed, since technically I was driving on an expired licence. 

On March 1st I got my new licence (pretty quick processing time for an online DMV renewal--right?)  And then on March 15th my wife got her passport (Sweet right?--well within 4 weeks).  But mine did not show up.  And then the next day Sat Mar 16th I get a letter in the mail from the U.S. Dept of State in South Carolina stating "the identification you presented to the Acceptance Agent was not properly recorded on your application".  At this point I went into true panic mode.  I mailed a copy of my new license that same day and then called the toll free National Passport Information Center on Mon Mar 18th to let them know I had mailed it and then again on Fri Mar 22nd to make sure they received it, which they did on Mar 22nd.  Both times the reps said they could process the passport well within the 6 week timeline before our April 5th departure date.  At this point I didn't even think to expedite the processing since I got the vote of confidence from 2 of our nation's finest customer service reps. 

But a week later I was getting very nervous.  At this point I called almost every day.  Starting on Fri Mar 29th I called and the rep said it was still being processed, but he couldn't confirm where it was in the process or if I would get it in time.  He said to call back on Mon and possibly pay for next day shipping.  So I called back on Mon April 1st and the rep I spoke with still could not verify where my passport was in the processing queue.  At this point I was questioning why my passport was still in South Carolina and why it was sent there when there are 26 different processing locations across the country, many of which were closer to us in California.  And then finally I relented--I paid the $77 expedited processing fee and the rep said to call back end of day Apr 3rd if I still didn't receive the passport.  I then started researching how to get a one day passport in San Francisco for another $100+ just in case I didn't get mine by Thu Apr 4th.  And I called the Sunnyvale post office rep back to tell her there was a problem because of my expired license.  She then asked if it was sent to South Carolina.  I asked her why that mattered.  She said that normally it is okay to send in an expired driver's licence even if it was expired up to 5 years, but that South Carolina was very strict in how they process passports.  So why in the world was mine sent all the way across the United States???

And then Tue Apr 2nd rolled around.  I had just started a weekly Project Management course here at Stanford and my intro to the group of 20 something co workers was that I was leaving for Costa Rica on Friday if I ended up getting my passport.  Of course I got many offers to take my place and all I could do was laugh it off, when really I was worried sick and had to hide my "tears of a clown".   Just an hour passed when I got a text from Julianne that my passport had finally arrived.  A ginormous weight was lifted off of me and I could finally breathe normally and smile again.  Now I could focus on getting ready for our trip and perhaps try to gain back some of the 7 pounds I lost because I lost my appetite just worrying about that stupid passport. 

Now that I can look back on the experience I really wonder if I would have received my passport without paying the $77 expedited fee or if it was all some part of the government's game to squeeze a little more money out of me.  Hmmm. 

I realized that my chance to play an April Fool's joke on the world had passed, but how could I play a joke when the ultimate joke this year was really on me.  So I am breaking with tradition this year.  Maybe for good.  You'll just have to tune in to our blog next year to find out :).

On a side note--now that we returned from Costa Rica yesterday Apr 13th, I can truly be thankful for Costa Rica's "Pura Vida".  And yes, I have gained some of that weight back.  But it's pure muscle from all that hiking and walking :)

Stephen